SEC Vibes: Challenging Commissioner Greg Sankey To An Arm Wrestling Contest


Take a look at what we’re vibing on in the SEC, including my challenge to commissioner Greg Sankey for an arm wrestling contest at media days.


I spent the past few days in SEC territory, visiting my parents, siblings and cousins for a long weekend in our Kentucky hometown. If riding a WaveRunner were a conference-sanctioned sport, I’d be collecting trophies faster than Kenny Powers dialing up a fastball. Riding close to 55 mph, I was hitting wave after wave like Laird Hamilton at Mavericks. It was epic.

Along with WaveRunners, I’ve been vibing on some burnt-to-a-crisp upper legs (wear sunscreen, kids!), grilled cheeseburgers and hot dogs, and some pimento cheese that makes the Masters look like amateur hour.

It’s that time again, so pull into your closest drive-in theater, put the top down on your 1960 Plymouth Fury Convertible, and get ready for some hot, steamy action as we delve into the latest edition of SEC Vibes

–  Who would have the busiest Tinder account if all the the conference’s head coaches were single? I’m tempted to go with Les Miles, but he’s a little past his prime. My guess is Kirby Smart. He’s young (40), rich, successful, and charming. He barely beats out Derek Mason.

–  Note to self: If ever get caught in a bad situation while holding a stolen gun and a sack of drugs, tell the judge about summers spent playing baseball doubleheaders in the sweltering heat. No air conditioning for this proud guy! Now, where’s my “Get Out Of Jail Free” card?

–  Outside of all things Auburn, there is nothing that gives me more chills than when LSU’s band hits the first four notes of their pregame and salutes the four corners. Embarrassing note: I used to have that as my morning alarm. It really puts you in the right mood for the rest of the day.

–  PETA calling for the end of live mascots at schools such as LSU and Auburn is completely ridiculous. Do they see how well those animals live? Their houses/lairs/aviaries are much larger and luxurious than, I don’t know, a city zoo. These animals are treated like kings. Get over yourself, PETA.

–  With the news that Verne Lundquist is stepping down from SEC on CBS after the 2016 season, I must mention my favorite memory of him: his silence right after the Kick Six. He just let the viewer feed off the emotion of the crowd. Well done, Verne.

–  I plan on challenging SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey to an arm wrestling competition at media days this year. He wins, and I only get to write puff pieces about him. I win, and I get to pick one school to send to the Big Sky Conference.

–  There should be a main event at media days where the Alabama Ring Hat Guy and Mississippi State’s Stingray compete in a SEC Football trivia contest. I want, NAY, I demand that this happens. I smell a Campus Insiders sponsorship opportunity?

–  The signing of Brad Calipari is exactly what Kentucky needs to get over the top and win another national title. Another great get by the recruiting magician John Calipari.

–  Speaking of Kentucky, I fondly remember how, near the end of the 1995 season in which the Wildcats went 4-7, the person manning the cannon gave up and started firing it for simple first downs. It beat hearing 25,000 uninterested people chanting, “First Dowwwwnnnnn, Kentucky!” for the fifth time.

–  While watching the European Championships these past few weeks, I am reminded by how awesome national anthems are when sung by a stadium of fervent supporters. (My favorite anthem is Russia’s, by the way. No, I am not a communist.) So, what is the best SEC fight song when sung by everyone in a stadium? It would be hard to find one better than Rocky Top, although War Eagle comes extremely close. The end of the Aggie War Hymn is great as well. The worst: Forward Rebels. I’m not sure even die-hard Ole Miss fans know the words.

–  Lastly, I’m thinking of having an official SEC Vibes get together while in Birmingham for media days between July 11-14. All are welcome to join, even if to simply call me an idiot or throw a drink in my face. Oh, and we can discuss the greatest conference in the world as well!


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