SEC Football Vibes: We Need A Nick Saban Drinking Game


Take a look at what we’re vibing on in SEC football, as we ramble randomly on conference topics and beyond.


August is the anti-SEC of months. It’s muggy, summer is almost over, and, really, it only exists as a 31-day barrier until we get to some sweet college football action. Oh, college football, that delightful time of the year when the air becomes a little brisk and the smell of bourbon wafts through the air. If football season were a person, I would marry it and treat it like royalty while we sail across the Earth uninterrupted from…

Wait, where was I? Oh, right. Lately I’ve been vibing on the start of fall practice, a bone-in ribeye that made all other steaks obsolete, and some melodious Taylor Swift jams.

You know what time it is, so prepare yourself for two-a-days, hit those tackling sleds hard, and when it comes to bumps and bruises, just “shake it off” as we audible into the latest edition of SEC Football Vibes.

–  The Head Ball Coach is back in Gainesville in an ambassador/consultant role for the Gators. Does Spurrier wear pants to work, or shorts? Does he go with the visor at all times, or doe he let those locks flow in the air conditioning? How much does this new gig eat into his golf game? So many questions with this development.

–  Les Miles said on Wednesday that dismissing Tyrann Mathieu from the Tigers was “one of the worst things” he’s ever done. Really, Les? Worse than filming this video in those socks and shorts that, well, highlight a certain part of the body? I’m going to go with that.

–  The fact that Bret Bielema now has his own television show is what the world has been waiting on since the invention of reality TV. If I learn that any of it is scripted, it will break my heart more than when they cancelled “The Critic.”

–  An anonymous SEC coach told Athlon Sports that they loaded the box up against LSU and Leonard Fournette and that is what shut the Tigers’ offense down. By anonymous, they mean Nick S…. 

–  Baylor quarterback transfer Jarrett Stidham was at the opening day of Auburn’s practice on Wednesday. If he comes to Auburn, he is the opening day quarterback in 2017. Just please do not make this a “package deal” and give Art Briles a coaching job. That would make me send my diploma back.

–  I’m not sure Kirby Smart would ever do it, but after former Georgia offensive coordinator and current Colorado State head coach Mike Bobo stated that freshman phenom quarterback Jacob Eason was not the “savior” of Georgia football, I would have responded, “That may be true, but at least you aren’t coaching him.” Then politely adding, “Also, you can go to hell.” That would endear Smart to Bulldog fans quickly.

–  Our editorial/social media corner of the office is loaded with SEC alumni. While I represent the “War Eagle” faction, we have three Gator Chomps and one Gig ‘Em. Well, we sort of count the Aggie as a SEC member since he graduated while they were in the Big 12.

–  I miss Gary Pinkel. That is all.

–  There should be a bingo drinking game for all Nick Saban press conferences. Every time he mentions “The Process” is a chug the beer moment. Now, I’m not promoting the consumption of alcohol, I’m just saying it makes things a lot of fun. You should try drinking while reading this column!

–  What in the world were the two Texas A&M assistants thinking during the program’s women’s football clinic? How do people like that ever get jobs? They need some major psychiatric help if they found their attempts at humor funny.

–  True story: I have never seen the movie The Blind Side only because I can’t respect any movie where Nick Saban is called handsome.

–  Lastly, I’m looking for a sponsor for my weekly SEC Football Vibes column. Think Chuck Testa would be interested?


MORE: 2016 Preseason College Football Rankings, No. 1-128