SEC Football Vibes: Making It Through Two-A-Days


Take a look at what we’re vibing on in SEC football as we try to make it through two-a-days during this hot August.


It is hot out right now. I can’t imagine how players preparing for the season are currently getting through two-a-days. However, these practice days will soon be in the past and those same players will be running out of a tunnel to the cheers of thousands of adoring fans. That must be an amazing moment, right? That’s the SEC of moments right there.

Lately, I’ve been vibing on some old-fashioned salted peanuts and beer at the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field, having a tweet “liked” by Mr. Belding himself, and wondering how much football season will cut into my viewing of Friends reruns (Ross doesn’t deserve Rachel. There I said it.).

It is that time again, so let’s all turn the air conditioner on high, lower the shades to block the sun, and take a sip of some sweet bourbon as we delve into our latest edition of SEC Football Vibes.

–  Auburn’s running back situation seems to be a mess, but Tim Horton says the talent is there for it to be one of the best groups he has ever had. If that’s the case then someone besides Kerryon Johnson will have to step up and shoulder the load.

–  I’m absolutely loving the fact that Nick Saban and Kirby Smart have already gone to battle over a transfer. It is like Saban is saying to himself, “Did I teach him TOO well?” If we find Smart’s body at the bottom of Lake Burton, we will know who to question first.

–  The worst part of fall practice is all of the injuries that occur. It is sad to see these guys who worked their butts off to get to the collegiate level watch it disappear before the season even starts.

–  Things that need to stop immediately: coaches calling their team a “family,” the use of the phrase “All In,” coaches using bible verses to relate to football, and closed practices.

–  The more I ponder the upcoming season, the more I get confident that Tennessee will absolutely fail to live up to expectations. Sorry, singers of Rocky Top. You will not be “home sweet home” to the SEC title this year.

–  It is awesome to have Tim Tebow back in the ne … I can’t do it. You really think you can make it to MLB with that swing, Tebow? Please. Will Urban Meyer become the coach of the Cleveland Indians and demand they sign you? What is your plan? You know what, I’m going to start playing baseball again and we can see who makes it to The Show first. Much like most of Tebow’s passes, the gauntlet has been thrown down.

–  Something that continues to perplex me: the rise of the Panama Jack hat among coaches. It has become the new visor.

–  Out of all the conference’s coaches, I would pick Will Muschamp as the one most likely to climb a skyscraper using suction cups. That was riveting television yesterday. Least likely would be Gus Malzahn. He doesn’t have time for that nonsense.

–  In my next meeting with commissioner Greg Sankey (meeting pending), I am going to propose that handball become an official SEC sport. That sport is AMAZING! Why did I not grow up playing it? I wish I had been born in Norway.


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